Open Letter to Rappers Everywhere – how these old white guys will boost your clout #ldsconf

Open Letter to Rappers Everywhere – how these old white guys will boost your clout #ldsconf


By: Brad Masters // 

Dear Rappers Everywhere,

Allow me to re-introduce myself: my name is . . . Brad. Unfortunately I don’t have a notorious moniker like HOVA or Snoop Dogg (Lion?). . . . Yet.

What I do have is hours and hours and hours . . . and hours of wasted time on social media. But all I’ve ever gotten from that is an inflated sense of self and a Klout score of 57. Klout, if you don’t know, is a company that scores individuals’ social  media influence from 1 to 100 based on a person’s activity on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, etc. A high Klout score is bonafide proof that people give a hoot about what you say, and that’s all anyone really craves anymore, right?  Now, I’m no Justin Bieber (Score=100), but I do have some special insight that is sure to raise your score to bragging-rights levels.  Think of me as your Klout-consultant. Ready to hear it?

POST MORE QUOTES FROM MORMON APOSTLES!!!

Like These Guys!

Like These Guys!

 

I’m not just making this up. Your hip hop boys Pharrell, LL Cool J and P-Diddy have already done it, and to astounding fanfare!  Let’s just take a little look at Pharrell, the most recent person to hop on this hip bandwagon:


Pharrell3

On August 14, 2013, Pharrell quoted Mormon Apostle Dieter F. Uchtdorf and was retweeted nearly 7000 times! Listen, you know this tip is for real when quoting a Mormon Apostle gets you TWICE as many retweets as KERMIT THE FRIGGIN’ FROG, dude!

Next up, LL Cool J:

LLCOOLJ2

When LL Cool J quoted the late Gordon B. Hinckley, former President of the Mormon Church, he got well over TEN TIMES as many retweets as he usually does when he quotes famous people like Ralph Waldo Emerson or Booker T. Washington. That’s power!

Finally, let’s look at P. Diddy, the man who started it all back in December 2011:

PDIDDY2

There’s really not much more I can say.  L Tom Perry, the 6-foot-4, 91-year old Mormon Apostle from Logan Utah earned him 2600 retweets whereas the rap legend P-Diddy himself hardly ever cracks 500 with his own words!

Look, here’s the deal: I’ve spun enough of your platinum tracks to know that your nearly unparalleled skills of wordsmithery are nothing to scoff at. But the fact of the matter is, you ain’t got nothin’ on these Mormon Apostles! Their messages are pithy, motivating, and deeply resonant.  And what’s more, they’re ordained by Jesus Christ himself to proclaim these ideas for all the world to hear (no wonder they’re so good)!

So give the people what they really want and milk the sweet benefits that come with a high Klout score, baby! And if you need a few suggestions to get started, check these out:

“Stop seeking out the storms and enjoy more fully the sunlight.” – Gordon B. Hinckley

“Remember that when you help another up a mountain, you are a little nearer the top yourself.” – Thomas S. Monson

“We become what we want to be by consistently being what we want to become each day” – Richard G Scott

“The soul is like a violin string: it makes music only when it is stretched.” – Neal A. Maxwell

“It is your reaction to adversity, not the adversity itself, that determines how your life’s story will develop.” – Dieter F. Uchtdorf

“We must develop the capacity to see men not as they are at present but as they may become.” – Thomas S. Monson

Also, if you tune in this Saturday and Sunday, you’ll get a chance to hear TEN HOURS worth of life-changing, Klout-exploding quotes at our semi-annual General Conference meeting. So turn on your TV, your iPhone, or your computer, and tune in with us. #ldsconf (the next letter will be about using hashtags).

Sincerely,

Brad Masters

 

54 Comments

Add yours
  1. 3
    Susan Groesbeck

    I enjoyed this immensely. I think I liked it even better since I can now picture you saying it. I hope someday I’ll have a quotable tweet!

  2. 5
    Ana

    Es muy interesante y no se puede esperar menos de hombre de Dios,ellos pueden llegar a miles de personas,pero a su corazon.
    Gracias x compartirlo.Saludos

  3. 6
    Greg

    Had a similar experience one day when I saw my non-member sister-in-law quote something on Facebook with a by-line of L. Tom Perry I liked it immediately – would have re-tweeted it if she tweeted. The cool thing is that the truth strums our heart strings with a distant tune that only our pre-mortal spirit remembers. Looking forward to #LdsConf

  4. 10
    Observer

    I like the original much better…
    “We are so often caught up in our destination that we forget to appreciate the journey, especially the goodness of the people we meet on the way. Appreciation is a wonderful feeling, don’t overlook it” unknown

  5. 13
    Ammon

    Why is there no date shown with the quotes from the apostles, but dates shown with all the others. Looks photoshopped to me. Good way to get people to look up quotes from LDS leaders.

  6. 19
    Amy

    Loved this! And great job to all who are putting the quotes of these men of Godd out there for others to see and repost/tweet, etc!

  7. 20
    Amy

    Loved this! And great job to all who are putting the quotes of these men of God out there for others to see and repost/tweet, etc!

  8. 22
    Pat

    Can somebody remind me who said this one, “Other than Jesus, God has only ever had imperfect people to work with. This must be frustrating for Him, but He deals with it. So must you.” LOL! I love that, but I want to quote it correctly and I can’t remember who said it.

    • 25
      christie

      Jeffery R. Holland, April 2013 conference:
      “So be kind regarding human frailty—your own as well as that of those who serve with you in a Church led by volunteer, mortal men and women. Except in the case of His only perfect Begotten Son, imperfect people are all God has ever had to work with. That must be terribly frustrating to Him, but He deals with it. So should we. And when you see imperfection, remember that the limitation is not in the divinity of the work. As one gifted writer has suggested, when the infinite fulness is poured forth, it is not the oil’s fault if there is some loss because finite vessels can’t quite contain it all.10 Those finite vessels include you and me, so be patient and kind and forgiving.”
      One of my most favorite talks ever.

  9. 26
    Devin Summerhays

    This is hands down the absolute stupidest thing I have ever read. I loathe, with a deep stone in the bottom of my heart, the person who wrote it, and you idiots passing it on. You’re sad, please stop poisoning our youth with your mentally disabled, elderly and visually delusional people you call apostles. I am sorry you are so underdeveloped, it makes me sad for you.

  10. 32
    Lauren

    Okay – This had me grinning from ear to ear and laughing out loud! The comments too! I love your tone and ‘voice’ and your cheerful sincerity (well, I think you’re being sincere…)in the comments. Awesome blosssom

  11. 34
    Lloyd Kermet Lewis

    I like these. Seems like, if that isn’t exactly what you are doing, you should create a site of LDS quotes with who, when, where, attached. Thanks. Lloyd

  12. 35
    These are the people in your neighborhood

    “…the one-wife system not only degenerates the human family, both physically and intellectually, but it is entirely incompatible with philosophical notions of immortality; it is a lure to temptation, and has always proved a curse to a people.”
    – Prophet John Taylor, Millennial Star, Vol. 15, p. 227

    • 37
      Joe Nicoll

      You have misquoted sir (madam?). This quote is not attributed to the Prophet John Taylor. The quote referenced is a conversation between a woman named Abby and her cousin Nelly, who was concerned about the idea of polygamy and her husband being called to serve a mssion in England. It was printed in what was basically the LDS version of the New York Times. I don’t mean to discredit her views or what she wrote in any way, but give credit where credit is due. Don’t mislead by cutting off a quote midsentence and claiming that someone else wrote it to make your point of view sound more compelling.

      The original quote: “I have come to the conclusion, Nelly, that the one-wife system not only degenerates the human family both physically and intellectually but it is entirely incompatible with philosophical notions of immortality. It is a lure to temptation and has always proved a curse to a people.”

  13. 38
    Joe T

    My wife and I were just talking about the quotes we keep seeing from our prophets posted by our friends from other faiths on FB… truth and inspiration know no bounds.

  14. 40
    Sid Sharma

    Word up, Yo!!!!!
    All kidding aside, I am gratified seeing Rappers tweet quotes by Apostles.

    Also, it is my first time on Normons, and I like it a lot!!!!!
    Thanks

  15. 41
    Paul

    I agree that these quotes are absolutely awesome, but don’t get too carried away with what it actually means that they got re-tweeted and favorited so many times. Realize that there are many Mormons who are fans of these rappers. The moment the rapper they follow tweets something from one of their leaders, every Mormon will immediately re-tweet it, because guess what, a rapper just quoted the apostles! I bet the rappers use it as a way to strengthen their core followers. I mean, come on, who wouldn’t want to like a musician and listen to his music, if he was quoting your religious leaders?
    Once again, not saying it’s not freakin’ awesome that rappers are quoting prophets and apostles, I’m just sayin’ it doesn’t quite mean what this article says it does.

    • 42
      David

      Paul, I’m somewhere in the middle, too… of the thousands who retweet, there will be a continuum among those who did so out of name recognition of the apostle; those who retweet everything the rapper tweets; and, those who just thought the sentiment was worth propagating. I suggest that among them will be a few who will ponder the words, be influenced to wonder who this person was, and in a few clicks, be reading about the Gospel. But rather than “just saying,” I’m sitting here quietly amazed at how all things are turned to support the propagation of the Gospel. It’s built my faith a little.

  16. 45
    Becca

    I love it Norman. Great job! I Love the apostles and know they receive revelation from God. What you of is part of sharing the gospel (with your klout) and building the kingdom. I know you’ll be blessed.

  17. 47
    Erick Kuhni

    This doesn’t actually bode well for Mormon Apostles. What it means is that there “utterances” have become so generic and “hallmarky” that they just easily apply to mans quest for salvation as they could for improving your game at basketball. The reason these rappers can quote LDS general authorities is because first they probably don’t even realize that they are quote Mormon leaders, and second because the quotes are so devoid of any real theological content or significance that they can pass for a Nike commercial. For example, take this one from Gordon B. Hinckley “without hard work nothing grows but weeds”. Not that there is anything wrong with this quote, but I could easily use this quote to sell sneakers. It doesn’t get more generically useless than these worthless quotes from self proclaimed Prophets of God.

    • 48
      jared

      Erick, Christ wasn’t exactly a poet. Neither was Paul. Plain and simple is the style. It has to be easy to understand.

      Not every bit of council requires reference to the Bible, or the use of the Words God, Savior, Christ, or any other buzzwords deeply rooted in the theogical category.

      Then again, the fact that a few old men can put some words together is impressive.

      Some of the best quotes are simple.

  18. 50
    Chris H.

    While I think the the poetic language (or ‘wordsmithery’ as you call it) of the prophets and apostles is pretty impressive, I think you’ve missed an important part of why these quotations (particularly when quoted by non-Mormons) have such an impact. I think it’s partly because of the Mormon connection/network/mafia. When Mormons see something that supports their faith, they are quick to pass it along. And when they see quotations from church leaders tweeted by ‘wordly’ rappers, I think there is a sense of validation (and maybe an appreciation of irony) that prompts the retweeting/favoriting among the Mormon social media population.

  19. 53
    Rob

    I agree with some of the posters, that without context it is just a cool quote. Sure some good will come of it, but it would be really nice if they tweeted out a link to a General Conference talk or something. Or a meaningful quote about a BOM scripture.

    Slowly but surely.

  20. 54
    Why and How God Still Calls Apostles - NORMONS

    […] Don’t get me wrong. The current crop of Apostles are phenomenally capable and successful men, and by any secular metric. But what really sets them apart is how successfully they’ve modeled their lives after Christ’s perfect example of humility, meekness, and love. (In fact, they’re so wise, and their examples so appealing, that even Hip Hop’s most famous rappers have taken to quoting Apostlic wisdom on their Twitter…!) […]

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